Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Unashamed
Okay, folks. I really wanted to rant about female-to-male sexism next, because that's important to me too. But then I read this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stefanie-williams/the-truth-about-being-a-s_b_3756329.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
(Eventually, I'll get better at this HTML stuff and make fancy links, but I am TOO PUMPED to go learn now. Maybe I'll come back to it later.)
Anyway, I read that. AND IT MADE ME SO HAPPY. I don't see enough of THIS attitude. I have it, myself, and it seems to be growing in popularity, but I don't see enough of it.
Here's the deal: I'm a slut. Yup, I'm a wanton woman who has sex with people who I want to have sex with, when I want to have sex with them, as long as they also want to have sex with me at that particular time. I am even unwed. And, shockingly enough, I have had sex with MORE THAN ONE MAN to whom I was not married.
And society is a real bastard about it, too. Society's like "You should totally have sex! Because Men want to have sex with women! Having sex is awesome!" But then Society is also like "You should be ashamed of yourself! Buying condoms and taking birth control pills like some sort of hussie! WHY ARE YOU HAVING SEX FOR FUN INSTEAD OF MAKING BABIES AND SANDWICHES?"
(PS. Society knows that sex and sandwiches are not directly related, but it also thinks I should go to the kitchen and make it a goddamn sandwich. Because Society, for some reason, thinks that I should be satisfied to never progress beyong the 50s. Sorry, Society. I'm too busy BEING A SLUT, and also having a job and socializing and living my own life, to make you a sandwich!)
Society doesn't seem to understand its double standard. It thinks that it's totally cool for men to have sex with women outside of wedlock, but it doesn't seem to grasp the concept that in order for that to happen, women HAVE to do that too.
And if a woman WANTS to do it, she's WRONG.
Alright, Society. You can shove it. I'm a grown-up. I can vote, buy cigarettes, and drink alcohol. (I don't actually smoke. BUT I COULD.) That means you don't get to make my choices for me.
More specifically, you don't get to make choices for yourself and then try to shame me for making those same choices. You don't get to shame me for living my life without taking your desires into consideration, because I really don't owe you much. You try to shame me and stigmatize me, try to silence and hide me and pretend that everything is hunky-dory, whatever that means.
I've got news for you, Society. You're fucked. (And not in the fun slutty way.) I won't be silent. I won't be hidden away. I won't allow you to make me believe that I am what you want me to be. I honestly think we're in an abusive relationship, here, and I'm breaking up with you. You don't get to tell me who I am! You don't get to tell me what I should be ashamed of! You don't get to make the decisions about what I do with my own body!
If I want to have sex, I'm going to. You can give me funny looks when I buy condoms at the drugstore. You can give me crude, knowing winks when I pick up my birth control at the pharmacy. If you really want, you can try to prevent me from terminating a pregnancy by pelting me with epiteths or fruit or by shutting down all the places where I could receive the medical procedure, and forcing me to go to a seedy man in an alley with a folding table and a rusty knife. You can do that.
But I want you to realize that you have no right to tell me what to do with my own body. And I outright REFUSE to be ashamed of the choices I have made. I make the wrong choice, sometimes, but everyone does. I won't be ashamed of it.
Guess what, Society? Everyone makes those choices. Some of them make the choices you would prefer--To remain chaste and pure until united by the sanctity of holy matrimony. And to those people, I say "Good on ya!" Because they have made the choice to do with their bodies what they will. They have that right. I wouldn't go that way, but that's my choice.
And I refuse to be ashamed.
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Good for you! There are a freaking ton of sluts in this world. There wouldn't be so many movies, tv shows, commercials, adds, etc catering to them if there weren't. Society has progressed in a lot of ways, and it's finally starting to come to terms with the fact that we as people want to have sex. We're simply built that way. There's nothing at all wrong with it.
ReplyDeleteBut for all the progressions society has undergone in accepting these desires to pursue our inner sluts, we continue to hold onto our guilts and double standards with a death grip. It's like we're not happy if we aren't punishing ourselves or judging someone else.
We need to get over all of that crap. Stop trying to find reasons to convince ourselves we're evil, stop looking into everyone else's life and assuming they should be doing things your way or else they're simply screwing it up. We're all just living our lives and making our mistakes and making our own damn choices. Everyone that sits there and thinks they know what's best for everyone else, no matter how pure of heart they believe that thought to be, can go screw themselves. If they want to know what's best for you, then it's about damn time they ask and listen rather than telling you that they really know more about who you are then you do.
You want to be a slut? You want to have sex and god forbid, actually enjoy it? More power to you. No one has the right to judge you for it. Doesn't make you any less of a person.
You may be a bigger slut than I am(maybe you're not?), but the truth is I admire you for it. I'm no better than you and won't even try to pretend to be.